Happy Turkey-day, blogland. I hope you ate yourselves silly, because I sure did. And if you're going shopping tomorrow, I wish you luck. You won't catch me out there fighting for four dollar carebears at Walmart. Nuh-uh. Nope, I'm going to stay home and spend all day on shutterfly, making photo books for everyone I know. How's that for Black Friday.
Anyway, we spent today with my brother, The Genius, and his wife, and their two boys, and also my other brother (the one without a nickname,) and my mom and stepdad and my aunt, except we didn't see my aunt much because she went in my brother's old bedroom and slept.
My nephews are eight months and three years old, and this is a story about my three year old nephew, who I call Spidey. I call him Spidey because one day, I was playing trucks with him, and I said "J, you're a really good garbage man," and he said "Call me Spidey, TeeWosh." So that's what I call him. (And he calls me TeeWosh, and the 'Wosh' part is pronounced with a long o, like in 'goes.' He's weird.)
Anyway, my sister in law told me a story today that was absolutely hilarious. Now you know I don't share real names, so I will call my sister in law Trees, because, well, just because.
Trees was making pies, and my baby nephew was chilling in his chair, because that's all he does is chill like a Buddha, and my brother, The Genius, was supposed to be watching Spidey, but instead he fell asleep. So Trees is standing at the kitchen counter, rolling out dough, and she hears the refrigerator open behind her. A couple minutes later she hears it close, but she doesn't think anything of it because she keeps snacks on the bottom shelf for Spidey.
She continues making her pies, and then she catches a glimpse of Spidey, streaking through the living room, nude. She wipes off her hands, and corrals Spidey and puts on - what else? - his Spiderman drawers. Then he put on his Spiderman slippers, because you have to have slippers to match your draws, yo.
Trees puts her pies in the oven, and turns to get something from the refrigerator, when Spidey runs up and presses his back against the door. "No, Mom," he says. "Can't open the freezer."
Trees is the most patient person in the world, except when she's running late getting things ready for Thanksgiving dinner, so she says, "Spidey! Knock it off. Shoo!" and tries to pry him from the refrigerator door.
"NO!" he yells. "Can't open the freezer door!" He's pressed firmly against the door in his Spiderman underwear and slippers, arms spread wide, with this huge scowl on his face. "Can't. Open. The freezer." He's pretty insistent.
"Why?" Trees asks him. "Why can't Mommy open the fridge?"
"Because!! I peed in 'ere."
Now Trees is really trying to get him away from the door. She hauls him to his bedroom and deposits him on the bed (complete with Spiderman comforter, of course) and rushes to the kitchen to analyze the damage.
And sure enough, Spidey has taken a leak in the crisper drawer. He even closed it when he was done, which is the refrigerator equivalent of putting the seat down.
She says she wanted to discipline him, but she couldn't, because she was laughing too hard, and I don't blame her. I'm still laughing about it. I can't wait till he's a teenager. I am the type of aunt who will tell all of his girlfriends about the time he peed in the refrigerator.
I don't even know how to end this post. How do you sum up peeing in the crisper? You can't.
My Mom Body (aaay_macaroni)
4 days ago