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Saturday, March 14, 2009

Asshole Award

It's time for me to own up to the very real fact that I am an inconsiderate asshole.

There's lots of reasons why, but mostly it's because people keep giving me blog awards and I keep ignoring them. Now that's assholery at it's best.

Here I have these virtual friends who obviously think I'm great, and they give me awards because, duh, I'm great, and then I act like I didn't get the award because I'm way too cool for that. Or maybe because I'm too important. Well, I'm not that cool or important (except to my son, for whom my body provides nourishment,) but I am just that asshole-ish.

The real reason is this. I hate having to save the picture of the award, and then post it on my blog, and then the award has a bunch of rules associated with it, like "Write ten reasons I shouldn't kidnap your dog," and then you have to come up with ten people you want to give this award to, and then, then you are obligated to display the award somewhere on your blog, but if you haven't noticed, I don't have any more room to display awards.

So I am bestowing upon myself the Giant Asshole Award. I don't feel like putting up a picture, but if I did, it would be a big horse's ass, with a rose tattoo and my name plastered across it. And it would say "Asshole Award for Not Accepting Awards."

Sorry guys. I'm just a lazy jerk. What can I say.

3 comments:

Manic Mother said...

You crack me up , I don't care for them either. I mean who actually reads what you write about your award anyway..I know I don't.

Momma Bear said...

I like them and I don't think you are an asshole for not putting up the award I gave you (although the horse's ass image in my head is making me crack up). See another reason I like you and your blog cause you do what you want....to each's own man!! :)
Hope you are feelin better!

Kimberly said...

I hate the whole giving the award part. Only cause I am also too lazy to think and list all freakin blogs I read and isn't it enough that I just accept the damned thing?