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Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Bane of My Existence...

... is this little fucker. (Photo courtesy of

Now why would a harmless little bird be so bad as to be, literally, the bane of my existence?

Oh, let me tell you. This asshole is called a Northern Waterthrush. He isn't a thrush at all, the big poser. He's a "thrush-like warbler." And even though his body is really small, his voice is THIS FUCKING BIG, and he thinks it's friggen hilarious to sit right outside my bedroom window and go "CHEE CHEE CHEE CHEE chchchchchchchchch" at five thirty in the morning. Every morning.

Why is this such a big deal? Because I have two under two, of course. Which means sleep is at a premium around here. Not more than three weeks ago, The Babe decided that eight o'clock was a fine time to wake up, compared to six fifteen, which has been his preferred wake up time practically since birth. Oh, how I rejoiced! Until asshole waterthrush showed up three days later.

He does his stupid "CHEE CHEE CHEE CHEE chchchchchchchchch" from five thirty in the morning until well past eleven at night. In the middle of the day he's joined by thirty or so of his closest, loudest friends. And you literally cannot hear yourself think around here.

And the more I try not to hear his stupid chee-ing, the more I hear it. And it's driving me freakin insane. Damn waterthrush. He isn't even supposed to be here, really. We're a little too far south for him. So go back to Canada, asshole. Go drive someone else up a wall for awhile. Sheesh.

(If you're so inclined, you can hear my high-decibel little "friend" here. Be sure your speakers are up AS LOUD AS THEY CAN POSSIBLY GO, in order to get the most realistic effect.)


ImogenSky said...


It does sound nice when its just one through my speakers...But I could see how irritating it would get.

Here we have crow issues...My girls think all birds CAWWWWW because that's the only bird they can hear since they are so darn loud!

Anonymous said...

NOWA (as Northern Waterthrush is known to bird researchers) is wonderful. Please try to appreciate his round-trip journey from central america to the northern great plains, made every year. He's just trying to get by, just like the rest of us. He is probably singing a bunch because he's still searching for a mate. Imagine making that long flight up from central america to your nrothern summer breeding grounds, getting there, looking around and realize you've got no one to breed with. You'd sing too, my friend. But thanks for posting the cute pictures of NOWA!

Stuff On My Blog said...

LMAO oh that's awful! He sounds a lot like our Kookaburra's laughing their bloody asses off at 430am (when the sun disgusts me by rising int he summer) at top volume. I so totally feel your pain.

Jen said...

I freaking hate birds in the morning. I used to have one of those little jerks outside my window.

But now it's just my 9 week old who keeps getting up at 4:30am wide awake and goes down right before my toddler wakes up. What the hell was I thinking when I wanted to conceive?

As for the annoying Canadian visitor... maybe some arsenic in a little bird seed "accidentally" left on the window sill? ;-)

Masasa said...

That sounds like spring to me! Beautiful! But if it woke my kids up early in the a.m., I think I too would be bummed.

Anonymous said...

We used to have a really obnoxious pigeon that would do the same thing. Coooooooo Coooooo Cuk-COOOO! On and on. I really wanted to off that danged bird.