I am a decent human being, but more importantly, I am a grown up human being, so I'm not going to name names or do anything to call anyone out here.
What I am going to do is bitch and whine like a sniveling little baby, so if you don't feel like reading that sort of thing (and I can't blame you if you don't) just stop right here.
I'm a member of several online communities. There is a well-known and well-liked member of one of these communities who did something shady to me. (Again, no details. Not important.) It hurt my feelings. Actually, it hurt me more than I like to admit and I cried. A lot. But then I saw the other thing she did, and it made me cry even more, and then it just pissed.me.off.
In private, she was not kind about what she did, and just kind of shrugged it off. But on the public part of this online community, she tried to make herself look like a hero. She wrote things in such a way to make me look like a fool and make her look like the friggen messiah. And everyone bought it and thinks I'm an idiot.
But I won't call her out. I can't. I won't make myself look even more stupid in front of zillions of people. I don't want all these strangers to know my feelings are hurt (but since you all live in my computer, you're not strangers, so I'll tell you) and I don't want them to think I'm a whiny brat. The person who did this to me has been a member there for years, and I have only been involved for six weeks or so. I am in no position to say anything, and even if I was, I wouldn't.
Because I am a grown-ass woman, and grown-ass women don't do that kind of thing to each other.
Everything is illusory. It is not real; it is impermanent. We are impermanent. Suffering is impermanent. I will not feel this way forever. I will probably not even feel this way tomorrow. So I won't dwell on it. I'll write it down and purge it and be done. It won't matter after this.
My Mom Body (aaay_macaroni)
4 days ago