I'm finally getting somewhere with the school.

So I talked to the school about this issue. Here is how it went.

First, I called the principal. He was not in. Then I called the superintendent, who was also not in. (Turns out, they were in a meeting with each other.) The superintendent called me back that same evening, and I told him the whole story in as few words as possible, because in real life, just like online, I tend to get unbelievably wordy.

The superintendent was not happy, to say the least. He listened carefully and then told me he would talk to Chris (the principal who hates to be called by his first name) and then we'd all figure out what was going on.

The next morning, Chris called me. He had already spoken to Mrs. F. She lied through her damn teeth! She told Chris that EJ wasn't getting books anymore because she was at such a high reading level that they had run out of books. Oh, that's just brilliant - punish a kid for being smart! (She is a ridiculously good reader. She's seven, and right now she's reading and loving The Call of the Wild. Yeah.) And even if they did run out of books for her to read - um, hello! There's more than just first grade in this school - go over to the fifth grade and borrow a book if you have to. You know?

So then apparently Chris told Mrs. F. what the superintendent told him, which was what I had told the superintendent. Surprisingly, he got it all correct, but then get this! Mrs. F. said that the book that had been drawn in was not from last week, but from January! She had gone through all the books EJ had used, because she "had a feeling." Chris was FURIOUS when she told him this, and he assured me - repeatedly - that EJ would have a book every night, even if Mrs. F. has to borrow them from the middle school.

I am glad that this was resolved, because EJ felt terrible about the whole thing. Apparently Mrs. F. took her in the hall to tell her she wouldn't be able to take a book home, and also that she wouldn't get a treat for reading because she wouldn't be able to read. EJ cried when she told me about this. I also found out that this didn't happen Monday as I thought - it happened Friday. So my poor girl was hanging onto this and worrying about it all weekend, and that makes me so mad.

I told EJ that from now on, if Mrs. F. takes her in the hall for anything, she needs to tell me when she gets home. This is the way I said it: "Mrs. F. is a very nice teacher, but even teachers make mistakes sometimes, and it's Mom's job to make sure that when teachers make mistakes, their children don't feel bad about it." (See, I think it's important for EJ to respect her teacher.)

So that issue is resolved, and more importantly, I think the school finally got the message that I will not put up with this. I'm really not trying to be argumentative or hard to please, I just want what's right and I won't settle for less. My children deserve a good education, and they deserve to be treated with respect. And if that isn't happening, I'll do what it takes to make sure it does.

More (!) School Bullshit... I need a friggen Xanax or something.

Listen, I have had it up to here with EJ's stupid school. UP.TO.HERE.

Remember all the crap about the Christian motivational speaker, and before that, the messy desk and EJ's desk nazi teacher? Well, this is worse, way worse. And it's a damn good thing the school is closed, for their own sake, because I am THISCLOSE to calling them up and telling them what a bunch of fascist pigs they are (or something equally appalling.)

Okay. I need to back up. Each week, the students in EJ's class are given a book in an envelope. The kids are supposed to read the book each evening and bring it back each morning to read in class. In the evenings, parents are supposed to sign the envelope to show that the kids read the book, and then they get the next book the following week.

A few weeks ago, Beastie got hold of EJ's book. She took an ink pen and drew all over the back of the book, and on the inside back cover. The book was still readable, but didn't look so hot cosmetically, unless you enjoy the, er, "modern art" look. So EJ took it back to school, and the next day I got a note saying I needed to pay $8 to replace the book.

Fine, but if I am paying for the book, I'm keeping the book. I mean, it only makes sense, right? That if you pay for something, you get to keep it? Yes it does. It makes sense legally too, but I'm not going on Judge Judy over an eight dollar book.

The teacher refused to give us the book. So I refused to pay the eight dollars. And then she got all bitchy with EJ, and screamed at The Hub when he tried to explain our point of view, and finally we just said forget it, pay the damn eight dollars. End of story, right?

Oh, how I wish it were so.

Today EJ came home with no book. "Where is your reading book?" I asked, and she got a funny look on her face. "Did you forget it in your desk?" - Which, I would like to point out, she has never done, but I couldn't think where else this week's book could be.

"No. Mrs. F. says I can't have book anymore, because [Beastie] drew on last week's book."

"Really?" I said, getting angry. "That's pretty amazing, considering we were up north all week, and when we got home, you didn't remember to read the book. So it was in your backpack all week long. She couldn't have drawn on it."

"Well, Mrs. F. says [Beastie] drew on it just a little teensy bit, so I can't have books anymore. But she said I can still read it at school."

"Did she send a note about the book?" I asked, figuring that a normal person would at least send a friggen note. EJ didn't know, so I checked her backpack. No note.

How in the hell is EJ supposed to keep up with the class if she can't read the damn books? How is this fair?

I wouldn't be upset about this, if Beastie really had drawn on another book. But SHE DIDN'T. She had no way of getting into EJ's backpack, unless she woke up sometime in the middle of the night, snuck into EJ's room, climbed up the bunkbed ladder, unhooked the backpack from said ladder, unzipped the backpack - oh and, don't forget, you can never, ever find a writing utensil in our house. No. It didn't happen.

What's happening here is, the teacher is annoyed (or, probably, downright pissed off) with The Hub and I, for having the balls to question the fairness of paying for a book and not being able to keep the book.

I have a call into the principal and the superintendent. I left a message. I would like to say it was a rude message, but it wasn't, because I'm not generally a rude person. (But if they could read my mind, they'd be running. For real.) I am not going to put up with this. This is EJ's education at stake. This school has pushed me just a little too far and I am not going to put up with this. It's bullshit.

My one year old tricked me.

Beastie (21 months) had just come in from walking with Daddy, Four and EJ to the bus stop.

"What did you see outside?" I asked her.

She thought a bit. "A bus!" she exclaimed. "A big bus!"

"You saw a bus? Wow!" I answered. "Did you see anything else?"

She shuddered and replied. "A GAKE!"

"A snake? Outside?"

"Momma! Gake! Outdide!" she said, frantically.

"Oh," I said. "I'd better go see this snake."

Then she laughed. "No, Momma. No gake. A WUM!"

"Oh! A worm! That's not so scary."

"Wum nice. Gake gary."

"Yes," I said. "Snakes can be scary. But we like worms, don't we?"

And she runs away. End of conversation.

INTELLIGENDER RESULTS ARE IN!!!

So I woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee, but I held it all night long so I wouldn't screw up the intelligender test. It has very specific instructions, and I didn't want to do anything to mess up the results.





I peed int he cup and put the 20ccs of pee in the cup. Then I swirled it and set it down and went in the living room to wait a very long ten minutes.





When ten minutes were up, I went back and looked, and the results were pretty darn clear...

So. I guess time will tell if Intelligender was indeed accurate. In looking at the website, it would appear that of the people for whom it was wrong, it said they were having a boy and they ended up having a girl. I didn't see anyone that said girl and ended up with a boy. Now I just feel bad for my Babe, because he'll be the only boy with four sisters - five, if you count his half-sister. However, I am grateful that I get to use my beautiful pink car seat again, especially since the dark green "boy" car seat is such a pain in the ass to use.

PS I never realized how dirty my bathroom mirror is... oops.