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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

5 Crazy Things You Can Buy at Target

I spend a lot of time pretending to shop. I like to pretend-shop on websites, even filling up a virtual cart, and then just walking away. (Or, I guess, clicking away.) My favorite place to do this is, and I have learned that you can buy just about anything at Target.

They call this gem "One Hot Dog." He's a 10" long, resin statue of a weiner dog. I would never buy this, but if I was going to, I would pay maybe ten bucks max. But this one, this one is special. This useless piece of polyresin will set you back $199.99. No I am not kidding.

Here we have a Saeco Espresso Maker. Now I am all about espresso, don't get me wrong, and I don't think its wrong to have a nice coffee maker in your home. What gets me is the price. But look, you can make two cups at once! Bonus: It includes a warming plate and milk frother. All of this for just $2,099.99! Hurry folks, they won't last long at this price! We're practically giving them away! We're cra-a-a-zy!!!

Ah, the Pacifeeder. You know, its such a drag, feeding this baby all the time. I hate having to hold him every couple of hours - its almost as bad as singing lullabies and giving kisses. For $16.99, you can hook the kid up to the Pacifeeder - less dangerous than propping a bottle, but just as tacky.

Because a house is not a home without a robot pencil sharpener. I would so buy this. At steal at $5.99.

This is kind of a good idea, actually. The Alcohawk Digital Alcohol Detector ($99.99) is basically an at-home breathalyzer. Apparently it meets NTSA Standards as a breath alcohol screener. Bring it with you to the club, charge 5 bucks to blow - because hey, five bucks is cheaper than a ticket and impound fees.

I told you you could get anything at Target.

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