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Monday, October 27, 2008

I have completely lost my mind. For real this time.

You know, I have been really toying with the idea of permanent birth control. Four kids is plenty, right? I think so. I cherish my children - I love them more than is expressible. They are my whole world, my life, my being.
But, do I want more? Do I want to hang my head in the toilet all day long for four months? Do I really want to waddle around with a split pubic bone? Do I want to go through the heartache of loss again? (Having been pregnant 13 times, and having four children... you do the math. Loss is a realistic threat for me.) Do I want to worry and wait and prepare all over again?

The more I think about it, the answer is.... yes.

I know, I know. It's crazy. I don't want to be pregnant now, of course. No way. There are three years between my older three, almost to the date. Between Beastie and The Babe? Just one year, one month, one week, and one day. Yeah. I counted. (Speaking of Beastie, today is her birthday. She is fifteen months old.) I couldn't handle three under three, thank you very much.

But... someday. Maybe in a year or so. We won't try. Trying is difficult and consuming and, well, trying. No, we definitely won't try. But we'll let nature take its course. And with any luck, we'll welcome baby number five sometime in 2010.


Elizabeth Gallo said...

I can totally relate -- here I am with babies 13 months apart, and I'm thinking about how it is already going too fast!

Laura Gagnon said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog, it made me feel like it's worth it ya know? I am 7mths preggo with baby boy 3. Hoping to have one more sometime in 2010 as well! That'll make 4 total for us :).
I love your sarcastically hopeful outlook, puts a smile on my face :).