When I was Four, I wanted books and new crayons and a baby doll for Christmas. I don't remember if I got them, but I do remember my then 4 month old brother got a cast iron car and I bashed him in the head with it.
When I was seven, I wanted a Barbie, and some coloring books, and a New Kids on the Block tape for Christmas. I got the most gorgeous-est Barbie ever, and I got coloring books, and I know all the lyrics to every NKOTB song ever, so I think I got that tape.
The point is, I wanted just plain old, regular kid type things.
So I asked the kids if they could have just one gift, what would they like?
Four wants a frog, because Four is freaken goofball and is totally obsessed with all things amphibious, but especially frogs.
"What kind of frog?"
"The kind that hops."
EJ pipes up, "Mom, I want a laptop for Christmas!"
"A laptop? Child, I don't even have a laptop."
"Mo-om." she said. Which roughly translates to 'Mom, you are so dumb. Every seven year old in the world has a laptop except me.'
"You are not getting a laptop. What else do you want?"
She thought about it, then put her hand on her hip and said, in all seriousness, "If I can't have a laptop, how about a cell phone?"
I about died laughing, and then I realized she wasn't kidding. "EJ, you are seven years old. How about like a doll or something?"
You will never believe what she said to me. You will never believe it.
"Mom. You are So. Lame."
My Mom Body (aaay_macaroni)
3 days ago