Contact: superninjamommy [at] gmail [dot] com

Saturday, December 6, 2008

I lost my mojo.

Feeling crappy today. Sorry for no wit, sarcasm, or interesting tidbits.

Did you ever feel like you should just quit because you totally suck? That's how I feel. I totally suck and I want to quit. Feeling like I have nothing of any value to offer anybody.

One of those days where I just want to sit around all angsty, but wtf, I'm almost twenty-seven years old. I don't get that luxury anymore. I should have enjoyed it while I could, when I was seventeen.

Also having an 'I should get a tattoo' day. 'I should get a tattoo' days are never good. 'I should get a tattoo' days are worse than 'I should get a haircut' days. Today I am thinking about tiny baby footprints tattooed on the tops of my feet.

Today I feel so very pregnant, and that scares the flippin' hell out of me. Scares me so much that I will not take a pregnancy test. I will just consider myself un-pregnant (?) until proven otherwise. Maybe when I do have another baby, we won't find out I'm pregnant till five or six months along. That would be fan friggen tastic. Oh and if I get pregnant again, I'm pretty much thinking about an unassisted pregnancy and childbirth. Unless some midwife in southwest Michigan wants to offer homebirth services for free or really cheap.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me today. I hate these days. I hate feeling worthless.


Tara said...

You don't get to quit anything, damn it. You offer so much! Please, think of Pedro. Who will carry on his stories if you don't? Seriously, you have not lost anything -- you've just temporarily misplaced your mojo. It's similar to misplacing your keys or something. There will be cursing and frustration, but you'll find it -- then you'll feel dumb cuz' it was in your pocket all along.

CNH said...


Yep, had those days. Many of them as of late.

Tara's right, your mojo is just hiding. It's like Hide N Seek Mojo. You'll find it again.

When I knew I was pregnant with the twins (who I never DREAMED would be twins) but the test was still not going to come up positive and the cells were not yet implanted I downed a whole pitcher of margaritas. Well, OK, I split them with a friend. And we talked about how horrible it was going to be to have another baby. And then one baby became two. And now.....sigh. Many days of hide n seek mojo but I'm glad to have them.

Jenni said...

oh, SNM, I know this day. I think I invented this day. tomorrow will be better.