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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Three Crazy Things I Saw In Northern Michigan, illustrated

Northern Michigan is a different world, and I have a post in progress about that, but for now I want to share with you three crazy things I saw in Northern Michigan yesterday.

This is hard to see, because I took this picture on the sly, but what you are looking at here is a man with a coyote on his head. We stopped for gas in Reed City (which isn't even northern Michigan, really, it's more like "middle" Michigan) and this guy was at the gas station. He is wearing a coyote skin. The head was on his head, and the front legs were like covering his ears, and the body and back legs and tail were flowing down his back, much like a bizarre hairstyle.

I saw him go in the gas station and laughed my ass off. Then I watched people come out of the gas station, and as soon as they came out, they'd burst into laughter. They saw him too, I guess. And then, after he bought his coffee and beef jerky, he got into his camouflage Nissan pickup truck and floored it out of there. Totally classy.

This is an actual carpet store. I know you get why this is so funny, but let me explain anyway. This sign is the punchline of about half the lesbian jokes ever made. And it is an actual store in Northern Michigan. Funny thing is, The Hub never noticed what was funny about this till we met. We had been dating a few months, and he was taking me up north to meet his family, and he completely did not get why I was laughing hysterically at this sign. Since I explained it to him, he laughs when he sees it too.

From the No Shit Files - a sign seen along US131 south of Petoskey. These signs are all over in Northern Michigan. Along this stretch of highway, there's a least one every mile and a half or so. I think maybe they put these signs up so people with coyotes on their heads would quit crossing the center line and hitting people with their camo Nissans.

And lastly -

A bunch of redneck white folk, a black guy, and two drunk Indians walk into a Sportsmen's club.

That's the punchline. It's the S------- family Christmas party, and guess what I saw there? In addition to the rednecks, black guy, and drunken Indians, I saw a coyote skin on the wall. I was worried someone would put it on their head, so I mentioned the guy in Reed City, and The Hub's Uncle Doug thought that was the coolest idea for a hat he had ever heard.

1 comment:

Momma Bear said...

hahaha that's awesome!