Do you want to get a rise out of people? Do you like to "shake things up a little?" Well then do I have an idea for you.
First, act like a big pansy when your Mom puts you in the crate, even though the crate is plenty big enough for you. Then, barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark until you're pretty sure the neighbors are calling Animal Control, because your mean mom deserves to have Animal Control called on her for putting you in the crate in the first place.
Now stop barking and notice Mom's laptop case just outside your crate. Since you can't get to it through the hard plastic walls of the crate, throw yourself against the sides until the crate turns 180 degrees.
Proceed to eat Mom's laptop case through the half inch squares of the crate door.
Now you might realize that your mouth is cut and bleeding from eating the case, but that's okay. Just pee all over the crate.
Now that there's pee everywhere, lie down in it and roll around a few times.
Oh no, now you're all wet! And the pee is leaking out of the crate. No problem. Throw yourself against the crate some more, thus "driving" it all over the house. Mom will love seeing how you decorated the floor with urine, and imagine the look on her face when she walks in the door and finds you and your bloody, pissy crate in the bathroom!
PS. Only try this if you are a dog. Wait, no, on second thought, don't try this at all.
My Mom Body (aaay_macaroni)
3 days ago