A name and a face.

You know I'm a little funny about sharing pictures of my kids online. I don't even share their names online (but it's cool, because I really do call them by the nicknames I use. Beastie really is Beastie in real life.)

However.

Baby boy has chosen his name, and to celebrate, I thought I'd share a picture of his face.

Allow me to introduce...

Ean Matthew!

Sorry the picture is blurry. He really despises the camera flash, so I have to take pictures on "night" setting. Even the tiniest movement blurs the picture.

I feel okay, considering. I found a tear that I didn't know about. I couldn't see or feel it due to the swelling. It's not worthy of a stitch and even if it was, its not in a stitchable place. It hurts. My pelvic bones hurt, and so does my back. I had this back pain with all my other babies too, and I always associated it with the epidural. Obviously I was wrong about that because there wasn't an epidural this time. Heck, there wasn't time for a back rub, let alone an epidural.

It's so funny because when I was planning the birth, I had all these ideas of the way things would go. I bought special scented candles, and had a special "birthing nightie" picked out. I had a playlist of music I wanted to labor to, and The Hub and I had practiced relaxation and massage techniques.

I didn't use any of those things. I birthed in a stained, hole-y t-shirt on the friggen toilet of all places. There were no candles, no music. I spilled blood and amniotic fluid all over my beautiful new bath mat. I roared as the head was born and I laughed as his body slipped out.

And it was just totally perfect. I can't really imagine it going any other way. I think I would have been too inhibited by fear of mess to have him in my bedroom, and I didn't have time to even think about filling up the bathtub. The breezeway was full of children's books that night, since there was no time to clean up.

I am really, really glad I decided to clean the toilet on Monday though...