Ninja Mom Can Cook (sort of)

I don't like cranberries. I do like cranberry juice cocktail, like cran-apple juice, and I like Cosmos too, and they have cranberry juice in them, I think, except by the time I'm drinking Cosmos, I've generally had four or ten tequila sunrises (easy on the sunrise) - so, I lied. I don't really know if I like Cosmos.

Anyway, the point is, at Thanksgiving, I don't eat the cranberry sauce, because, barf. Cranberry sauce sucks.

However.

I do like cranberry relish, because it's sweet and fruity and delicious, and this is how you make it.

In your food processor, put one bag of fresh cranberries, one apple, peeled, cored, and diced, the zest of one orange, and the fruit of that orange, peeled and membranes removed.

Now pulse it till it's finely chopped - not pureed, please, it isn't baby food.

Tip - DO NOT TASTE IT at this point. It will taste like ear wax.

Now add about a cup of sugar, but taste it after a half cup, because sometimes that's enough to make it nice and sweet. You might even need two cups of sugar, if your orange isn't very sweet. You want this relish to be sweet, like apple-sauce sweet, not kool-aid sweet. Not that there's anything wrong with kool-aid, it's just that kool-aid is kind of crappy on turkey.

Make it today, okay, because it's better if it sits in the fridge for a day before you eat it. Serve it cold, and when you eat your turkey tomorrow, take a forkful of hot turkey and a little bit of cranberry relish on the same fork, and oh man. Flippin awesome.

(Also, it's good to eat on it's own, like applesauce. It's that good.)