Falling Off (or, those damn growth charts)

Today is a special day for two reasons. First, it's EJ's eighth birthday! Eight years ago at this very minute, I was bound by my wrists and ankles to a hospital bed, being forced to have an epidural. But I don't like to think about that. EJ was born at 4:52 pm, and she was twelve days late. Up until yesterday I thought she was eleven days late... then I counted from May 23 to June 4 on the calendar, and it's actually twelve days. Duh.

The second reason today is special is because The Babe is nine months old today. He doesn't seem out of the ordinary to me, but he's doing things, physically, that the doctor says only about 10% of nine month old babies do.

And that brings me to this morning.

The Babe had his nine month well-child visit, and it didn't go so well. Firstly, he woke up with a fever. We co-sleep, so I thought he was warm from being snuggled up with mommy under the covers, but he didn't cool down after over an hour out of bed, so I gave him tylenol. He's been majorly cranky, but I didn't feel like cancelling the appointment, so we went.

He hasn't gained any weight in the past three months, which any experienced breastfeeding mother will tell you is absolutely normal. Breastfed babies tend to be really chubby at first, and then they start to slim down. The doctor didn't directly say that she was concerned, but I could tell by the questions she was asking and the recommendations - "put formula in a cup for him to drink." Yeah effing right. Would you drink that stuff? Of course not - you know it tastes like pond scum, because you have alternatives. The Babe will not touch formula, and why would he, when he can have breastmilk and juice and goat's milk and all sorts of other good stuff? (Weird side note: Beastie's been formula fed since she was 5 months old, and still drinks it. She won't drink regular milk, just juice and formula. Weirdo.)

Anyway, I told the doctor that The Babe wasn't feeling well, and she said it's going around, if it gets over 105 bring him back, blah blah blah. All that no-brainer crap. ("Why, doctor, I though it was normal for a baby to have a fever of 112... you should have told me to bring him in!" Yeah right.)

But then she said he needed his Hepatitis B shot. She was startled that he hadn't had it at birth, and hasn't had a dose yet. I said I wasn't comfortable with him receiving any shots at all, since he was sick, and she said okay, but warned me that Hepatitis B is a very serious disease and he should have been vaccinated at birth.

I said "I believe that, but I really don't see him sharing needles or engaging in risky sexual behaviors any time soon."

She laughed and said I had a point but that I would need to fill out a religious exemption form when he goes to school. Yeah, cause you know, I don't have anything better to worry about than the forms I'll have to fill out for kindergarten five years from now. It's not like I have a sick kid or anything.

Oh yeah, she also said his head is lumpy because he doesn't sleep on his back enough. It's not lumpy; it's bulbous, and as a matter of fact, he sleeps on his back every night. He's just got a big ole brain in there.

(As far as EJ's birthday - the party isn't till Saturday. Then I'll show you the beautiful cake I made [which I haven't made, but will have made by then, and which might not be beautiful at all] and fill you in on all the joys of having an eight year old.)