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Sunday, September 27, 2009

Call it pregnancy hormones - I'm bumming out.

I am feeling a little bummed because I was promised a baby shower for the new baby, and I'm not getting one.

I didn't really need a baby shower. I have pretty much everything I'll need for the new baby. There are a few things I would like, but they're all frivolous things that I can just get some other time (or live without.) I guess I was just excited because I haven't had a baby shower since EJ was born, and it felt good to be thought about. I've thrown many baby showers for friends and family, regardless of what number baby they were expecting, because it feels good to be remembered, especially in the last months of pregnancy.

Well, I wasn't remembered. I mean, I was, but then the person who was going to host it forgot. I mentioned it a couple times, that we were getting kind of close, and she kept blowing me off, saying "I don't know when to have it" or "I don't know who to invite." (Despite me telling her.) Finally last week I said "So no baby shower then, huh?" and she said "Why not?"

I told her I was due in less than a month and that there wouldn't be time. You can't send out invites a week before and expect anyone to make it. And I don't have time to wait three or four weeks. The baby could come any time - probably not for a few more weeks, but we have to be realistic here.

So my grandma said we should have a baby shower after the baby is born. She's all gung-ho about it. But you know what? I think that's about one of the tackiest things I can think of. I mean I can just see me sitting there looking all awkward (because I always look awkward) holding the new baby and everyone talking around me because everyone always talks around me, not to me. I've never been to a party where anyone talked to me. Shit, I had a couple friends over to my own house and they acted like I didn't exist. They talked over me and didn't seem to hear me when I said anything. It sucked, and I haven't invited anyone over since then.

But anyway. I don't think I will feel up to having a baby shower after the baby's born. I will have five kids, people. I will have five little beings to dress and get cleaned up, and a whole house to clean (since I now have the biggest house of anyone in our family, I have been unofficially chosen to do parties and holidays.) I will be exhausted. I will look like shit. I will be sweating like a pig (because I always sweat profusely for like a month after I give birth) and my hair will be falling out in clumps and I'll be leaking milk and other bodily fluids all over the place and none of my clothes will fit properly...

I feel like shit just thinking about it. And how freaking tacky is it to have a shower after the baby is born. I might as well just write everyone a note saying "Send money."

I guess I'm just bummed about the whole situation. I'll never have another opportunity for a baby shower. It would have been fine if no one had offered to have one. But now I feel like an idiot for spending all that time preparing my baby registry and looking at shower themes and everything. I should have known I wouldn't be important enough.


Stuff On My Blog said...

How sad! Every pregnancy deserves to be celebrated, even if there is a no gift rule. It's all about the female family members and friends getting together and fussing over the mum to be (and of course some bonehead telling labour horror stories!) and having a cute cake and conversation.

I'm sorry nobody is throwing you one :(

Lisa said...

I really don't think it's super tacky to have a baby welcoming party after the baby arrives. You can shower a baby and a Mom with love at any time. I had a diaper shower for #2 since I too had everything I needed, except diapers. Maybe that was tacky, but people still came :D

Jen said...

I would definitely get DH or an extended family member to invite people over for a "Baby welcoming" party. They can meet the baby, bring gifts, and you can feign ignorance and stay in bed if you want. I remember after my daughter was born and people came by to meet her and bring gifts- my husband came and took her to the guests while I stayed in bed. Hmmm... you know... in retrospect, that kinda pisses me off... Oh well. I got rest, she got free stuff.

BTW- sorry about the shower not working out. Email me offline with your friend's name, and I'll track her down at a fast food chain someday when she's not expecting it and hit her over the head with a Boppy.

Erin said...

i don't know you, i just follow your blog. that is totally shitty. i would be depressed and pissed and everything else b/c that is so freaking rude, it would be the same as telling someone you were throwing them a birthday party and then not doing it, and your friend should have realized. boo :(

i'm sorry

mrs.notouching said...

That totally sucks... I would be upset too (((hugs)))

Haute Mama said...

Okay so not cool!!! Every baby deserves a little something in their honor. I had a Baby Welcome party because I was on bedrest for six months and not in any shape or willing to risk my pregnancy. And it was my second child in just two years and I actually had tons of gifts! And even though I was still a bit! I felt like I was "the shit" because any Mommy that can take care of one baby let alone FIVE, is "ths shit" in my book!!! That's all. :)

And if people are around you and not talking to you....let them know about it or let them GO! No need in wasting any time on people that won't lift you up! =)

Evie and Chris' Mommy said...

I think you are entirely right to be bummed about the whole thing. Having a baby shower is fun and exciting esp since you were looking foreward to it. I don't believe in only having one for the first child! That stinks. My mom screwed up mine it ended up being a baby shower/baptism party people were so confused (Evie was 3 months by the time of the party)! I was embarassed. No one had one for me for my second which I needed since he was a boy! Everything I had was for a girl! Oh, well life goes on! You'll always feel a sting when you think of it, but soon enough you won't care! Good luck!