This is a NO BOWLING zone.

Five came home from the first day of school, exhausted and overwhelmed*, but eager to tell me about her day. The main thing she wanted to talk about was bowling.

"The teacher told us, NO BOWLING ALLOWED!" she told me excitedly.

"Why?" I asked. I mean, I guess it's kind of obvious that you wouldn't want a bunch of kids bowling in an elementary school, but why make a rule about it?

"Because," she told me. "Bowling hurts people. Bowling hurts people's feelings."

"Really," I said.

"Yeah, because if someone wasn't very good at bowling they might feel bad."

Uh, okay.

"And," she continued, "my teacher said anyone who gets caught bowling will have to go to the principal's office. And if you see anyone bowling, you have to tell the teacher right away, even if someone wasn't bowling with you. Even if they were bowling with someone else, you still have to tell the teacher."

Now I was thoroughly confused. I didn't know if there really had been a "no bowling" conversation, or if Five was just making it up. And if there had been a conversation about this, why? Had there really been an issue in the past? Were kids bringing bowling balls in their backpacks?

I was completely stymied until I read the newsletter the school had sent home, detailing their "No Bullying" policy.


*Five won't be attending school any more this year. It's too overwhelming, so we'll be homeschooling her and putting her into Kindergarten next year, when she's six.