Cry.

I just want to cry.

I'm not sure why. It totally feels like that thing you get a couple days after you have a baby, where you just cry for no reason. I don't feel sad. I just feel like I could bawl my eyes out at any moment.

I'm trying to fill our days with fun things to do, to make the baby-waiting go faster. But with very young children like mine, there's only just so much you can do. I end up spending every day hanging out with the babies, cautiously counting every twinge and running to the bathroom every couple of minutes to check for... something. I don't know.

I feel like I need to stimulate my brain, but I can't. I can't find an activity that's compatible with toddlers. We play blocks and sing that damn "Love grows, round like a circle" song over and over, and I swear to God my brain is turning into oatmeal. I think I can hear it trickling out my ears.

Today we're going to take a walk. We're going to collect autumn leaves, and arrange them on wax paper with glitter and other messy crap, and then iron the whole thing and make bookmarks and sun catchers and what have you. At least, that's the plan for now. We can't do it until after EJ gets home from school, which is such a bummer because by that time everyone is grouchy and tired.

I thought we might get pizza after we go for our walk, because there's just something celebratory about pizza night. Maybe I'll stop at the dollar store and get some plastic champagne glasses, and we can drink Sprite from them like fancy people.

See... I told you my brain was turning to mush. Fancy people don't drink sprite from plastic champange glasses.

They drink ginger ale.